Every blonde skinny lingerie/swimsuit model from here to the Czech Republic is cheering out of their panties, because their ex-piece or future ex-piece Leonardo DiCatchAHo finally won an Oscar. Leonardo is truly the talent of our time, because he was able to walk to the Oscars stage while blowing out a river of jizz through his asshole over finally winning the award he would’ve sold all of his internal organs for.
Leonardo won Best Actor for The Relevant, I mean The Revenant, and he used his time on the stage to talk about the environment. Sure, he’s probably going to celebrate his Oscar win by taking a gas-guzzling private jet ride to France where he’ll get on a yacht. But who cares. Leo cares about the environment! Get into Leo’s “just had my wisdom tooth pulled out and I’m on coke” mouth action:
But you know who he doesn’t care about? The bear from The Revenant. He didn’t thank that bitch at all. If it wasn’t for that bear, Leo wouldn’t even be on that stage, but yet he couldn’t have taken 3 seconds out of his speech to thank the ho who made it all possible? How dreadful. Leo should lose his award over that honestly. And you know who else is crying in a fetal position on a bathroom floor somewhere? Lukas Haas. Leo didn’t even throw a half-assed “thank you” at his fellow Pussy Posse member and bro-in-waiting. Cold, Leo, cold!
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty