Posh Beckham’s Hooves Have Mostly Retired From Wearing High Heels

February 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Oh, those were the days…… When Posh Beckham could hold a baby that weighed more than her while walking on a pair of stilts. But those days are long gone and it’s the end of a high-heeled era.

To me, Posh Beckham was always one of those tricks who could not walk unless her heels were elevated at least 5 inches above the ground. Like if she put on flats, she’d just stand there all stunned like a cat with a sock around its waist, but way bitchier. But I guess 2016 is one of those years where the WTF becomes real-life (see: the election), because Posh has pretty much broken up with high heels. High heels used to be her main bitch and now they’re just her sometime fuck buddy. I guess after years upon years of wearing heels, her feet hurt like your ears whenever she sings live. In an interview with The Telegraph about fashion stuff, Posh says that she mostly wears flats and will wear high heels sometimes.

“I just can’t do heels any more. At least not when I’m working,” she says. “I travel a lot.” True. She’s just returned from half term with the children in LA after the New York show, and is off to Hong Kong for the opening of her second store there in three weeks. “Clothes have to be simple and comfortable.”

“Clothes have to be simple and comfortable.” Who is this Posh? Did Kunty Karl Lagerfeld get jealous of her growing fashion empire and cast a spirit into her? A spirit whose feets hate heels and says things like “Clothes have to be comfortable“? What’s next? John Travolta is going to burn all of his Shih Tzu wigs and let his bald head breathe in air at all times? Shauna Sand is going to melt all of her exquisite Lucite heels and only wear cork heels from now on because they’re better for the environment? Why can’t you just suffer through the pain, Posh? WHY? (And yes, that’s coming from a dude who is barefoot 99% of the time and wears flip flops the other 1% of the time.) Well, it’s a happy day for Posh’s war torn hooves, but it’s a sad day for high heels. Every high heel wearer’s feet are crying out a tear for Posh’s high heel retirement. Or maybe they’re crying out a tear because they hurt from wearing heels.

And now let’s take a high-heeled walk down memory lane….

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty, FameFlynet

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