Because Rob Kartrashian’s sock empire is worth about as much as a jar of toe jam (“So, like $565 then, because that’s how much the jar of toe jam I bought on eBay cost.” – Quentin Tarantino), he can’t pay his own rent and he let his mommy buy his 28-year-old ass a $2.3 million house in the same neighborhood his fame whore family terrorizes. Maybe Pimp Mama Kris did it because she wants Rob out of Blac Chyna’s place. Or maybe she did it because she saw a tax right-off opportunity and was able to register the house as a Wayward Home for Family Embarrassments with the ‘Beetes. Whatever the case may be, PMK had one of her minions stock the kitchen of Rob’s new house with fancy foods like Raincoast crackers and quinoa, and it blew his and Blac Chyna’s minds.
Blac Chinet posted a video on Instagram of her and her Kardashian revenge fuck, Rob, taking a tour of all of the foods his pimp mommy bought him and they couldn’t believe their eyes. They acted like they had no idea what shit like Sharon’s Sorbet, McCann’s Irish Oatmeal and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! is. Watching this video is like watching stoned cavemen try to shop at Whole Foods. Blac Chinet and Rob ask, “What the fuck is this?”, while looking at all the food his mommy bought for him. In about 8 months when Donald Trump becomes president and civilization as we know it ends, creatures from other planets will land on our destroyed planet and say the exact same thing while looking at covers of UsWeekly and Star with the Kartrashians on them. Apparently, the Instagram video was deleted, but leave it to TMZ to have it!
Rob also put a tiny dent in his debt to Pimp Mama Kris by giving her material for an upcoming episode of Krapping Up the Kartrashians. Rob shat this up on Instagram last night:
You may be rolling your eyes at Rob calling himself an “orphan” since, yes, PMK’s heart may be dead, but she’s technically alive. But you shouldn’t have a problem with Rob calling himself an oprhan. Don’t you remember that scene in Oliver where mom buys him a multi-million dollar house and fills it with $12 crackers? “Please mum, can I have some more…artisan tortillas?”