Adam Levine saw Ben Affleck’s Meat Loaf album cover back tattoo and raised him a cross-eyed mermaid angel of death.
The peroxide-dipped douche and his wife Behati Prinsloo both posted pictures on Instagram of the enormous tattoo he got inked into his back. Adam says that it took a total of 6 months for a tattoo artiste to create the work that looks like something an emo 8th grader would draw on his paper bag book cover with a Sharpie during homeroom. It’s very “The Little Mermaid as reimagined by Ed Hardy.”
It’s Adam’s body so if he wants to cover his back with a portrait of the fish bird baby that Bruce Willis and Demi Moore made while bareback fucking on a toxic waste dump, then I say okay. But if he’s into pegging, then my thoughts and prayers are with Behati. Because while she’s taking a strap-on to that ass, she has to deal with the flying mermaid girl throwing her judgmental looks.
You know, if I was going to get a humongous tattoo on my back, I’d get the In-N-Out regular menu and secret menu tattooed into my skin. That way when my piece is hitting it from the back, he can decide what he wants to order for our after sex time meal. I’m considerate like that.