Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Flossie Dickey, the 110-year-old whiskey-loving nap aficionado and hero with the best name ever.

A few of you sent this to me yesterday and since the Internet can be an endless web of lies that plays with our emotions with manufactured hilariousness, I thought this was fake at first. It feels like a skit from a public-access Saturday Night Live knock-off. But Good Day Spokane is a real local news show, Nichole Mischke is a real reporter (who put this gem on her Facebook page) and Flossie Dickey is a real treasure of Washington who just wants to spend her 110th birthday taking a nap.

One of America’s traditions is for local news reporters to go nursing homes and bother the oldies who are turning 100 (and up) years old. But I’m all for it, because sometimes we get priceless jewels like this clip. If my name sounded like a cutesy sex act, I’d always be happy, but Flossie Dickey wasn’t having it when a way-too-chirpy Nichole Mischke got in her face on her born day. Flossie did not make it all the way to 110 years old for a loud reporter to interrupt her 6th nap of the morning on her birthday. Nichole said on Facebook that Flossie was over the interview before it even began:

Before we went live she kept falling asleep so I kept trying to talk to her to get her to stay awake. Her response to me? “How do you think you’d feel if you were 110?”

Touché Flossie, touché.

Flossie doesn’t care about your ugly birthday flowers! Flossie doesn’t care about your dumb questions! Flossie is not amused with you talking to her like she’s a toddler! Flossie doesn’t care about the annoying birthday party her family is throwing for her! Flossie just wants to drink whiskey, eat pie and nap. Flossie is my hero and inspiration.

Flossie is a hungover you sitting in your cubicle on a Monday morning and Nichole is your annoyingly cheery co-worker who wants to talk about the weekend before your first cup of coffee hasn’t even begun to wake up your senses. Happy Belated Birthday, Flossie Dickey! Hopefully all of those people left you alone to sip whiskey, eat pie and nap in peace.

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