Have You Ever Wanted To Know What It’s Like Being Trapped In A Torture Chamber In Nightmareland?

February 19, 2016 / Posted by:

For Shia LaBeouf’s first performance art piece, he sat in a room with a paper bag over his face as stranger after stranger sat across from him and were allowed to say or do anything they wanted (and it allegedly got real dark and illegal when a crazy raped him). For his second performance art piece, Shia sat in a movie theater with a bunch of strangers and watched all of his movies in order. For his third performance art piece, Shia and his partners in high artistry, answered calls from strangers for four days. And now Shia is back to performance farting again and this time he’s moved into an elevator for the next 24 hours. I know, the sequel to Devil is even more horrific and terrifying than the first one.

The Guardian says that Shia and his partners in high artistry stepped into an elevator at EC Oxford, an English language course centre in Oxford, England, at 9 this morning and stay in there until 9 tomorrow morning. They will leave the elevator for a minute to speak at the Oxford Union tonight. The hellevator ride to nowhere is being streamed on YouTube, and strangers are also able to visit Shia to talk about art. via The Guardian

“Visitors will be able to join LaBeouf, Rönkkö and Turner inside the elevator during this time, and are invited to address the artists, the debating chamber, and the internet, so that their collective voices may form an extended, expansive and egalitarian Oxford Union address,” the union said.

It’s hard for my unartistic mind to wrap itself around the idea that this is considered art. The resident homeless man at the subway station near my old apartment in Brooklyn pretty much did this for more than 24 hours. He’d stay in the same spot and talk to strangers. But I shouldn’t question Shia. This IS art if Shia is doing it since Shia is art. (Fun fact: If you press the words “Shia” and “art” so close together that the “i” and an “a” get knocked off, it becomes “shart.”)

With that being said, this is a nightmare wrapped in a nightmare double-wrapped in two more nightmares. You’re stuck in a tiny space with a bunch of strangers talking about art, and you have to find a way to breathe while not inhaling the scent of musty ball syrup and ass sweat wafting off of Shia. You try to breathe through your mouth but then you can taste it. Even Lucifer is saying, “Too cruel. Too cruel.

But still, Shia is 100% more influential than Picasso, Apostle Paul, Pablo Escobar,  Stanley Kubrick and Kanye West. Have any of them pissed on themselves while stuck in a fart chamber for 24 hours for the sake of art? I think not!

Here’s the livestream. I watched it earlier and they were talking about Even Stevens, so there’s definitely some hardcore art talk going on in there.

Pic: YouTube

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