Well this is some sad fucking news. We already know that things were a massive pile of shit for professional ass-kicker and SI swimsuit model Ronda Rousey after she lost a UFC fight in Australia to Holly Holm back in November. Ronda took a major beating to her face and was knocked out in the second round, and she ended up spending the night in the hospital. But apparently things for Ronda were a whole lot worse than a mangled mouth and a bunch of cartoon birdies flying around her head.
During a recent appearance on Ellen, Ronda admitted that leaving the fight with a face full of stitches instead of a gold-plated UFC belt made her so sad, she considered killing herself. Ronda figured that if she was no longer MMA Champion Ronda Rousey, she wasn’t any of any use to anyone. The only thing to pull her out of her dark hole of sadness was looking up at her current boyfriend Travis Browne and realizing she wanted to carry a litter of his pups.
God, what a bummer though. Imagine being the best at something and then instantly not being the best at it? That would be like if Kanye West logged on to Twitter and realized there was someone tweeting even crazier shit about Steve Jobs and needing money for holograms. That truly is a “What the hell do I do now?” moment.
I really feel for Ronda Rousey. Holly Holm fucked up Ronda’s teeth so badly that doctors told her it would be six weeks before she could attempt to chomp on an apple. And honestly, if a doctor told me my teeth couldn’t handle food, I’d be in a bad place too.