How To Get Dropped By Nike In One Easy Step

February 17, 2016 / Posted by:

If you ever find yourself in a Nike contract that you want to get out of, because you’re just really tired of making an ass load of money by holding a sneaker and a phone while a photographer takes your picture for an ad, just follow Manny Pacquiao’s lead. Just say some anti-gay shit to the media and BOOM: Nike will tear up your contract faster than you can say the “Just” in “Just Do It.”

Filipino boxing champion Manny Pacquiao is no stranger to launching homophobic dingles from his mouth. Some know him more for that than for his boxing wins. But the latest one got him fired from Nike. The Guardian says that Manny P, who’s an evangelical Christian, is running for a seat in the Philippines senate, and during an interview with Filipino television station TV5 on Monday, the mashed-up pile of brains in his head farted up this thought about gays and lesbians:

“It’s common sense. Do you see animals mating with the same sex? Animals are better because they can distinguish male from female. If men mate with men and women mate with women they are worse than animals.”

If Manny’s only statement was “animals are better than humans,” I would’ve co-signed every word, because animals ARE better. But HA at him saying that animals don’t do it with the same sex. He must live in a different world than me, because in the world I live in, many animals are gay, bi, plushies and/or objectosexuals. They hump on the same sex, stuffed animals, sofa cushions and anything else they can get their parts on.

At first, Manny doubled downed on his thoughts by saying on Instagram that he’s just going by what his Bible tells him. Manny obviously believes what he says, but I guess his people really like the cut they get from his endorsement checks. Because he later shat up a non-apology he was probably forced to give:

“I’m sorry for hurting people by comparing homosexuals to animals. Please forgive me for those I’ve hurt. I still stand on my belief that I’m against same sex marriage because of what the Bible says, but I’m not condemning LGBT. I love you all with the love of the Lord. God Bless you all and I’m praying for you.”

He also played the “I Have Gay Friends!” card.

Manny’s “apology” wasn’t enough for Nike and so they dropped him from their endorsement roster after 8 years. Just like Manny has a right to say whatever he wants, Nike has a right to drop his ass if they feel like his words are going to mess with their money. They released this statement:

“We find Manny Pacquiao’s comments abhorrent. Nike strongly opposes discrimination of any kind and has a long history of supporting and standing up for the rights of the LGBT community.”

And there we go. This ends our lesson on how to get dropped by Nike in one simple step. Now I have to go and put on rubber gloves so I can pick up my dog’s stuffed animal hump toy and throw it in the wash.

Pic: Nike

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