In case you were wondering whether or not Justin Bieber was still in a long-term committed relationship with the alopecic caterpillar that lives on his upper lip (Stephen Baldwin’s daughter is just his side-piece), this picture should answer your question. And for those of you wondering if that’s tape wrapped around his ring to make it fit, yes it is. Although I didn’t have to tell you that, since I’m pretty sure it’s common knowledge that big boy pinky rings only come in adult sizes.
I’d like to think that at least one person in Justin Bieber’s life tried to talk him into shaving that horrible patch of teen stache hairs off his face before the Grammys last night, but that might be giving too much credit to Bieber’s hanger on-ers. Or maybe they were too afraid that if they spoke up and told Justin Bieber he looked like Aaron Carter’s long-lost dirtbag twin brother, he might channel “the old Bieber” and slap them to within an inch of naptime.
Either way, someone let him out of the clubhouse last night looking like a sleazy elf, and that’s a choice they’ll have to live with. Maybe they can get together with the person who told Bieber to bust out some Ashlee Simpson-meets-Ministry of Silly Walks dance moves during his performance of “Where Are Ü Now.”
I can see why people are askaird of the “old Bieber” – did you see how he threw that guitar down at the end of “Love Yourself“? It almost broke! Speaking of people who are clearly ten times harder than old Bieber, here’s Justin and his little brother Jaxon walking the red carpet. I don’t know if Jaxon said anything on the red carpet, but his eyes look like they’re saying: “If anyone asks, I came with…I dunno, anyone but you. Got it?”