“Awww, bugger, now I got to change,” said Adele after seeing that some pop singer person named Manika is wearing the showgirls rhinestone bikini thing she was going to wear to the Grammys tonight.
Forget about Kanye West. Mark Zuckerberg should put money into the Grammys’ Styrofoam change cup. The Grammys are obviously going broke and are on a budget since they’re happening on a Monday this year. They wanted that Monday discount from the venue, the caterers and the florists. No, apparently the Grammys are on a Monday this year, because yesterday was Valentine’s Day and today is President’s Day, so CBS felt like nobody would’ve watched the show if it happened last night. Personally I think that it’s really cruel of the Grammy bitches to move it to tonight. Because now people’s Valentine’s Night-induced hangovers are going to get even worse thanks to Justin Bieber’s performance, Lady Gaga’s David Bowie tribute and Taylor Swift pretending like she’s OMGSOSURPRISED over winning every single award.
The Grammy show doesn’t start until 8pm EST, but they’ve already started handing out some awards. At posting time, Tay Tay has already won 2 Grammys. She won Best Pop Vocal Album and Best Music Video for Bad Blood. She tweeted this:
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) February 15, 2016
You know, Monday is one of my sober days, but after seeing that annoying video, I told my liver to buckle-up, because it’s not getting the night off.
I live in the past known as the West Coast and even though the Grammys take place here, it’s not live for us. So if I can’t find a live feed that isn’t a mess and I have to watch it when it airs here, I’m going to already know everything that happens and it’s going to be like the time I watched The Usual Suspects after my piece of trash friend spoiled the ending for me. (UPDATE: Forget what I just said. I don’t know what I’m talking about as usual. It’s airing live on the West Coast.) I’ll probably throw up two or three Grammy posts tonight, but Allison and I will cover it all tomorrow.
And now I leave you with the demure Manika killing all of those hos with pure sophistication by wearing Cristal Connors’ favorite church-going outfit.