The lover tortoises who instantly became the best part of New York Fashion Week when they got it on during a fashion show.
The biggest fuck fest to hit NYFW was Kanye West furiously fingering his ego’s b-hole at his album listening party/Yeezy season 3 presentation. But the most beautiful fuck fest happened between two tortoises at Mathieu Mirano’s presentation for his new collection on Thursday.
Page Six says that Mathieu Mirano’ show was “desert-themed” so they threw in tortoises as props. Those tortoises deserve a raise because they turned a boring fashion presentation into a hot tortoise sex show. Someone who was there tells Page Six that during the show, the big dude tortoise wooed the lady tortoise into getting their hump on in front of everyone. Those tortoises showed the people what it would look like if turtle Larry King butt humped on fellow turtle Hugh Hefner.
“A large male began pursuing a smaller female tortoise around the models, who stood still posing in the sand. One model could barely hide her giggles as the determined male followed the female past her feet, and he then proceeded to climb aboard.”
That tortoise-on-tortoise action got Mathieu Mirano some free publicity, so of course he’s not mad. He laughed at the whole thing and isn’t going to turn those tortoises’ shells into necklaces (I think).
Screw drugstore chocolates and fugly ass teddy bears holding hearts. The best way to show your piece you love them on this VD is with some good old-fashioned public fucking. These two tortoises who saved New York Fashion Week definitely know what I’m talking about.
Happy Made Up Holiday Where We All Make Corporations Richer By Buying Dumb Shit For Our Piece Day, everyone! (And yes, I know all bitter hos like me say that.)
Pic: Sly Magazine