At Madison Square Garden in NYC today, Kanye West farted up his newest collection of overpriced dumpster finds and he also played songs (one of which has a touching lyric about Taylor Swift) from his new album The Life of Pablo. I’m guessing he means Pablo Escobar since coke was definitely a co-producer on that album. Kanye held his Yeezy season 3 show at MSG, because his organizers probably knew it was the only place that’d be able to hold in his craziness, throbbing ego and all of those foam insulation-filled Kartrashian asses.
I watched mostly all 500 hours of the livestream and for the first time in my life I felt really sorry for models. They all had to stand there looking sad, hungry and constipated while wearing dusty, moth-eaten aerobics clothes that have been in the back of someone’s mother’s closet for the past 30 years. Not only did they have to stand there in condom beanies and Star Trek Lululemon shit, but they also had to listen to Kanye fuck his own ego while playing songs from his new album.
It wasn’t one of those traditional fashions shows where the models strut their asses down the runway and leave. The models stood there together like a depressed army as Kanye came out and played his album. Every one of their faces said, “I am not getting paid enough for this torture.” Some of the models got to sit, so they kind of looked like an American Apparel version of the Les Miserables barricade. Once Kanye finished playing songs from TLOP, he left and the models stood standing for a little while more. Those models are definitely suffering from cramps and bruised ear drums and they probably can’t even get worker’s comp!
“I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, I made that bitch famous.”
“I bet me and Ray J would be friends, if we didn’t love the same bitch / You might’ve hit it first / Only problem, I’m rich.”
“Blac Chyna fucking Rob, helping him with the weight.”
I’ve seen Taylor Swift’s fingers and they’re an E.T. kind of long, so it makes sense that Kanye West wants to get with that and wrap his booty hole around her long phalanges. Kanye also has a point about making her famous. Taylor Swift was just a little-known indie artist nobody heard of when she won Video of the Year at the MTV VMAs. But Kanye doesn’t have to worry, he’s still way more famous than her, which is why he has to keep mentioning her name to get attention for his album. What really pisses me off, though, is that Kanye just made me defend Taylor Swift. I hate him for that.
The Kartrashians showed up to Kanye’s show looking like a bunch of abominable snow whores and of course they brought Lamar Odom, because they need to remind everyone that their love and devotion saved him. As Lamar sat around those fame whores while listening to Kanye’s album, he probably thought, “Hmmm, maybe that coma wasn’t so bad…”
Kanye also announced at his show that he’s currently working on a video game about his mother’s journey to heaven. Yes, this is going to exist in real-life soon. He showed a clip of it.
And finally, these were sold at Kanye’s show:
Y'all look what they selling at Kanye show pic.twitter.com/XqmO6GFKMc
— Charles (@Boom_likean808) February 11, 2016
Up in heaven, Donda West is taking in that video game clip while Robert Kardashian asks, “Why am I only $40?!”