Charli XCX, who you may remember as the Tai to Iggy Azalea’s Cher, has been slowly inching her way into the Red Carpet Fuckery Hall of Fame for a while now. She’s slithered onto the red carpet looking like sloppy n’ slutty Morticia Addams. She showed up to last year’s Grammys looking like a rode-hard put-away-wrecked Super Star Ken doll.
And last night she proved she still really really wants a permanent spot in the Most Committed wing by sashaying onto the red carpet of the amfAR New York Gala looking like a picture of your messiest cousin from her first wedding in 1992 right before she threw a glass of wine in the groom’s face during a slow-dance to “Secret Lovers.”
Charli XCX in that rumpled discount David’s Bridal dress is doing everything for me. I don’t know if she’s about to try to drunk fuck the DJ on the wedding cake or cuss out her parents for not springing for a salad bar (salad bars were the epitome of buffet sophistication in the 90s). But I do know there’s a 90% chance someone will go “Shit, where’s Denise?” and find her passed out in the parking lot on the hood of a Chevy Caprice at some point in the evening.
And because all drunk 90s brides need an equally messy 90s bridesmaid, she was followed shortly after on the red carpet by a model type named Elsa Hosk, who made Denise order her Zum Zum by Niki Livas 90210 knock-off bow dress bridesmaid dress three sizes too small (“because, yes bitch, I am a size 2“) and could only fit into it halfway.
Here’s more from the amfAR New York Gala last night, including the red carpet’s hardest working couple next to the Clooneys, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Sandra Lee wearing the tablecloth from an autumnal tablescape, and a whole mess of models.