BEYONCE SAVED RED LOBSTER!

February 10, 2016 / Posted by:

When I lived in New York, I’d sometimes get a craving for Cheddar Bay Biscuits and overpriced pieces of white tire rubber flavored with artificial lobster seasoning (that shit is so not real lobster) so I’d go to the Red Lobster in Times Square and wait at least an hour. I bet that you can’t even get a table anymore and there’s a 6-month-long waiting list thanks to the power of the all-powerful Beyonce!

In Beyonce’s new song “Formation,” she spits out the lyric,” When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay.” The song was released on Saturday and Red Lobster trended on Twitter that day. Since the Beyhive beylieves that Beyonce is the sun and the planet revolves around her, they were waiting and waiting and waiting for Red Lobster to respond on Twitter. Red Lobster finally responded hours later with this:

The Beyhive didn’t like that tweet and Red Lobster apologized for it. But those tweets didn’t stop the people from going to Red Lobster. CNN says that on Sunday, Red Lobster’s sales jumped 33% from last year and they’re owing it all to Beyonce. Beyonce’s song also put Red Lobster on the Twitter map for the first time ever.

Red Lobster spokesperson Erica Ettori said the brand was mentioned on Twitter 42,000 times in a single hour and trended for the first time in history.

So, for the next few nights, the executives of Red Lobster will start dinner with their family by thanking their lord and savior Beyonce for the meal they’re about to eat. But whatever, we all know that nobody made Red Lobster famous the way that fashion’s one-time super couple, Tim Gunn and Andrae from Project Runway, made Red Lobster famous.

And Oprah probably read CNN’s story about Beyonce’s power and said, “Awww, how cute,” while rolling her eyes. Because when she mentioned bread in a Weight Watchers ad, she made $12 million in one hour and caused bread to sell out almost EVERYWHERE. Seriously, I was at the grocery store yesterday and I had to wrestle and elbow a trick in the throat for the last loaf of sourdough.

Pic: Splash

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