In the 80s, England was the Queen of the dude pop duos. They gifted all of our senses with musical jewels like Erasure, Pet Shop Boys, Wham!, Soft Cell and Climie Fisher (don’t act like you still don’t know every word of Love Changes Everything). Germany must have gotten sick of England being the largest creator and exporter of pop duos, because in the mid-80s Modern Talking was born!
I had completely forgotten about Modern Talking until reader Janice dropped them in my inbox. Modern Talking was a hot German pop duo made up of Thomas Anders (the brunette swan giving you Farrah Fawcett Miami Vice hotness on the left) and Dieter Bohlen (the blonde swan giving you fluffy mushroom mullet sexiness on the right). Their first song “You’re My Heart, You’re My Soul” came out in 1984 and it became a hit all over Europe, because the people were extremely hungry for poetic lyrics, beats that tickled the tip of their nipples, next-level keytar skills and a hunk of fromage dipped in hairspray and liquid glamour. The video for “You’re My Heart, You’re My Soul” is a gorgeous work of art from Thomas dressed like Prince’s grandma on Easter Sunday to their captivating performance styles. Thomas tips you over with his come hither dead eyes (he’s obviously Zoolander’s modeling coach) and Dieter pours you out with his extra cheesy faces. He looks like Jim Carrey doing an impersonation of a coked-up 80s frat boy. Get into the glamour of it all:
Janice also told me a little bit about Modern Talking’s revolutionary shows:
My boyfriend and I have been laughing about this musical duo for over a year now. (I know of them because my parents listened to them.) Thought it’d be my duty to share. A German duo from the 80s called Modern Talking committed egregious crimes against music. Yes, more-so than Milli Vanilli. They’d lip-sync at concerts and Dieter (the blond one) had no idea how an electric guitar worked, nor what sounds it was supposed to make. When they would play live, the guitar wouldn’t even be plugged in. The songs themselves were ridiculous. However, Thomas’s wardrobe is what took the cake. He looked like a petit lady and wore a necklace with his wife’s name on it.
That honestly sounds a zillion times more entertaining than 90% of the pop acts out there. Modern Talking put out a few albums and had a few hits until they broke up in 1987 to do their own thing. They reunited in 1998 and toured together for a while. They released their last album in 2003.
And here’s the video for one of their other hits from the 80s. Thomas was truly one of the most beautiful women who ever lived in the 80s! Just try to ignore Dieter’s creepy child toucher facial expressions and instead get lost in the frosted pink wonderland smeared on Thomas’ gorgeous lips.
Modern Talking was like a Jem and the Holograms band come-to-life. In other words, they were perfection.