Cuba Gooding Jr. was on Watch What Happens Live last night to promote Shapiro Brows: The Mini-Series Event and that shifty Siamese Cat named Andy Cohen got him to talk about whether or not Scientology’s sexiest pin-up Tom Cruise has pulled, nipped, tweaked or pricked his face. As everyone knows, Cuba and Tommy did Jerry Maguire together and they’ve stayed friends. During a game of the Spill the Tea! last night, Andy asked Cuba to spill the tea on the secret to Tommy’s beauty.
Tommy having a bunch of pricks on his face is what the boys in the Scientology bath house call “an every day thing.” But Tommy had different kind of pricks all over his face when Cuba stopped by Casa de Crazy unannounced.
Andy: Tom Cruise. He always looks so youthful. Do we think he’s had any work done on the faccia?
Andy: What do you think he’s had done?
Cuba: I don’t know what he’s had done, but I surprised him at his house one day, and he had all these little red dots over his face. And I said, “You all right?” and he said, “I didn’t know you were coming.” And I was like, “I can see why!”
Andy: Maybe injections?
Cuba: I don’t know. It’s his own business.
Andy: He looks youthful.
Oh, so nooooow it’s Tom’s own business after Cuba already told the world how he keeps his mug fresh. Tommy would call Cuba up and ask if he’d like to take a little bro trip to a cell at Scientology Gold Base, but he can’t be bothered. Tom doesn’t care because he knows the truth! Tommy knows that those little red dots were from his face Thetans bleeding out and dying a slow painful death as he killed them with the power of his mind. Don’t laugh and say you can’t kill Thetans. No, you can’t, but the all-powerful high-level bridge queen Tom Cruise can!