Behold, One Of The Greatest Singers In America!

February 5, 2016 / Posted by:

One time when I was at my mom’s house, we were watching Access Hollywood, or another one of those type of shows, and they showed a clip of Jessie J. My mom wasn’t joking when she said, “I didn’t know that Pink is from England.” I should’ve said to my mom that I didn’t know she just got back from a long vacation on another planet, because that Susan Powter-ass wannabe in front of us is one of the greats of all-time! Yes, she would’ve slapped me for talking smart, but she needs to know who our new Whitney Houston is!

Jessie J (aka that Q-Tip who yodeled out Grease Is The Word at the beginning of Grease Live) tells Women’s Health UK (via The Sun) that it gives her the sads knowing that her own homeland of the UK doesn’t appreciate her for the legendary gift that she is. Thank God for America, though, because Jessie J says that in this country we recognize her as being one of the greats. If you actually know what a Jessie J is, this is your cue to make the same confused face she’s making in that pic. If you don’t know what a Jessie J is, don’t bother Googling. You’ll just be re-directed to Dictionary.com’s definition of “delusion.” The legend (in her own peroxide-bleached mind) said this about herself:

“It makes me sad. I’ve done the Grammys, the VMAs… My profile in America is that I’m kind of celebrated as one of the greatest singers — and I love it. I want to be up there with the Celine Dions, Whitneys, Beyoncés, and Arethas. I go hard because I hope and pray that one day people look back and go, ‘She could really fucking sing.’”

Jessie J should’ve specified which America, because it sure as hell ain’t North, Central, South, West or East. But really, Jessie J has always been like room temperature tap water to me. But now I’m a fan! I mean, I don’t think she’s one of the greatest singers in America. However, I do think that she’s one of the greatest comedians in the world!

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