The only traumatizing experience I’ve ever had with Uber was when an Uber driver played Hoobstank during the entire ride. No, I don’t know what Hoobastank songs sound like. I used Shazam to find out because I wanted to make sure I got all the details right when filing a police report against that Uber driver for attacking my ear drums like that. But I have heard a couple of scary Uber-related stories and Kevin Smith’s 16-year-old daughter Harley Quinn Smith (born name: Harley Quinn Smith) told one to her Instagram followers over the weekend. And yes, her real name is Harley Quinn Smith. I guess Kevin Smith and his wife really wanted a name that screamed, “MY PARENTS ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING NERDS ALIVE!” Now on to Harley’s Uber horror story….
Harley Quinn Smith said on Instagram that she was waiting for an Uber in Brentwood, CA when a car pulled up that didn’t match the description of the Uber picking her up. Harley says she quickly realized that something in the milk wasn’t clean and says the dudes in the car were creeps clearly trying to kidnap her. I guess serial killers who pick up hitchhikers found a new trick. This is what Harley wrote:
PEOPLE OF LOS ANGELES- I was just standing outside a Starbucks in Brentwood, where I was waiting for my uber when a large, beige car drove up to me and tried to get me to think they were my uber. There were two white men (age 20-30) in the driver (blonde hair) and passenger (brown hair) seat with an uber sign on their front window, but they were most definitely not uber drivers. When I asked who they were there to pick up, making sure it was the right car, they wouldn’t answer me and said to get in the car. They didn’t have the uber app on their phone and were clearly just two disgusting dudes trying to kidnap a girl standing on her own. Protect yourself and never ever get in a car without checking that it’s the correct car first!!! I was in too much haze of fear that I wasn’t thinking straight enough to think to take a picture of the drivers or the license plate, but if you see a car like this PLEASE report it to the police and stop them from trying to pray on other young girls!!! We have already reported it to the police, but more information would be helpful in finding them. Be careful and look out for yourself/others!!!!
And Kevin Smith is the kind of dad who knows that the best way to make his teen daughter feel a little better after she was almost kidnapped by fake Uber drivers is with CAAAAAAAAKE!
So the moral of the story is always check your Uber car before getting into it and also check to make sure they’re not playing Hoobastank. Speaking of morals, I have none, because now I want to DM Kevin Smith on Instagram and tell him I was almost kidnapped by fake Uber drivers so he can buy me a CAAAAAAAAKE!