Hot Sluts Of The Day!

February 3, 2016 / Posted by:

The furry turd noodle brows that graced John Travolta’s beautiful bronzer-covered face on last night’s first episode of American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson. 

I’ve posted about the tiny weasel fetuses that John Travolta wears to play Robert Shapiro before, but seeing them on a TV in HD and in motion last night was an experience. The first episode of American Crime Story happened last night and I was hoping it would be a campy extravaganza like Showgirls but in Brentwood… and with less rhinestones… and bigger tits (I mean, Travolta’s chichis are way more juicier than Nomi Malone’s..) and without Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon. You know, now that I think about it, Gina Gershon and Elizabeth Berkley would’ve been inspired as Pimp Mama Kris and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick. But moving on…

It wasn’t that campy and my teen self who was glued to the TV during the trial was riveted by it. (Don’t worry, my teen self won’t give you spoilers.) There were some campy parts like Selma Blair as PMK and Connie Britton as Faye gossiping at Nicole Brown Simpson’s funeral and Cuba Gooding Jr. calling himself “The Juice” all the time. O.J. shouldn’t have only been charged with murder, he also should’ve been charged with a crime for making everyone call him “The Juice.” For me, the highlight of last night’s episode was John Travolta who obviously made the decision to play Robert Shapiro as if though Robert Shapiro was a sedated caterpillar who really couldn’t move his face because it was covered in orange-tinted cement. He was like The Caterpillar in a man wig.

And those stick-on brows… One of them (the left one) should win a Best Supporting Actor Emmy and the other one should win a Best Supporting Actress Emmy (yes, she’s a woman). And after they win those awards, they should be turned over to the Smithsonian.

Pic: FX

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