One of the greatest drunk debates you’ll ever have about the film Titanic is – spoiler alert – whether or not Rose had enough room on that door to let Jack crawl on. According to James Cameron, Jack couldn’t climb up because the wood isn’t buoyant enough to hold both of them. MythBusters, however, called bullshit on James Cameron and proved that two people could fit on the door and that Rose totally could have scooched over. I know, RUDE.
Well, after nearly twenty years (yes twenty years; did your ass just let out a startled puff of senior colon dust too?), Rose has acknowledged what we all know to be true: that she’s a greedy door hog. During an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Monday night, Kate Winslet admitted that the ending of Titanic isn’t nearly as romantic as our dumb knockoff Heart of the Ocean necklace-wearing 13-year-old selves thought.
I like to think Jack has forgiven Rose. I also like to think that 3 seconds after Rose knocked his frozen hands off the door, he was found by a mermaid who turned him into a charming merman. Then he found the Heart of the Ocean necklace, sold it for $1.6 million fish dollars, and now he’s gills-deep in mermaid pussy. Basically, he’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s merman equivalent. Look, it’s all I can do to keep me from dwelling on the fact that a nice guy like Jack got the hump n’ dump from Rose. Actually, he got the ultimate hump n’ dump: she humped him in a car and dumped his ass in the water. That’s cold, Rose!
Pics: 20th Century Fox, Wenn.com