Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 1, 2016 / Posted by:

Danny Zuko’s shorty short short gym shorts from Grease: Live last night.

About 15 minutes into Grease: Live last night, I wondered if I was just really, really stoned or was it not as shit-tastic as I thought it would be. I was completely ready to char the edges of my already blackened heart by hate-watching it from beginning to end, but it wasn’t awful. I actually liked it, I can’t believe they technically pulled it off and I sat through all 3 hours of it. Yes, that shit was 3 long ass hours long. It’s supposed to be Grease: Live. Not Schindler’s List: Live.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t perfect and there was plenty of shit for me to judge. Some of the sets (see: the diner set and the high school hallway set) looked like they were recycled from Saved By The Bell and they kept with that theme by casting Mario Lopez in the role he was born to play: a sleazy, slime-faced TV host who hits on high school girls. But in AC Slater’s defense, everybody in that high school was about 30 years old (just like the movie!). They looked like seniors at Benjamin Button High. I mean, Aaron Tveit as Danny Zuko looked like a nerdy dad doing bad Dylan from 90210 cosplay. But he did work those shorty shorts and gave me some bulge, and that was enough to make me temporarily forget about his unsexy Danny Zuko.

But I am mad that they cut “It’s Raining On Prom Night” and gave a useless new song to Carly Rae Jepsen. Frenchy doesn’t have her own song in Grease, so since they cast Carly Rae, they wrote a new one for her and they really shouldn’t have. The new song didn’t fit in with the other songs and it sounded like a Brit Brit Spears b-side from 1999.

As for Julianne Hough as Sandy, eh. It’s like judging plain microwave oatmeal. It’s fine, it does the job and it’s not like you’ll be asking for more or remember it later. And at times it felt like Vanessa Hudgens was doing an impersonation of Stockard Channing as Rizzo, but she still pulled it off while dealing with the death of her dad.

All of the Grease: Live musical numbers are here if that’s how you want to spend your Monday. It was a hit, ratings wise, so I hope this means that they’re going to do Grease 2: Live starring Michelle Pfeiffer! Hey, if Aaron Tveit can get cast as a high schooler so can Michelle Pfeiffer.

Pics: @UsWeekly , FOX

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