Azealia Banks Won’t Be Charged For One Of The Times She Beat On A Club Bouncer
Back in October, part-time rapper/ full-time poster child for crazy Azealia Banks got into it with a bouncer at a nightclub in Los Angeles. I have no idea why Azealia went full-Azealia that night. Maybe he triggered the Oh Hell No switch in her brain by telling her he really liked her song “Fancy.” Regardless, Azealia and the bouncer started fighting and it was all caught on camera.
Usually the words “caught on camera” means you better start practicing how to walk into jail with a handful cigarettes tucked between your butt cheeks, but Azealia doesn’t have to do any of that. TMZ says that Azealia Banks won’t do any time for allegedly beating on a club bouncer, because the L.A. City Attorney has thrown the case out. Even though footage of their fight was caught on a security camera, law enforcement can’t tell who started it. And since the bouncer didn’t have any injuries, it’s sort of a draw.
That’s not to say that Azealia’s bouncer-whooping days are behind her. Back in December, Azealia got into a fight with the bouncers at a club in NYC that ended with Azealia biting one of the bouncer’s boobies. That shit hasn’t gone to court yet.
But as one crazy door closes, another one opens. Earlier today, she hopped on Twitter, set her internal thought filter to bonkers, and started typing up a shade-laced endorsement of aspiring Presidential candidate/confirmed turd Donald Trump. Azealia truly covered all the bases of why Trump should be the 45th President of the United States: he’s evil, he’s a piece of shit, he’s not a THOT like the other candidates – you know, all the qualities the founding fathers wanted in a leader.
Ok so, I think I'm ready to admit that I'm going to vote for Donald Trump.
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
I think Trump is the only one who truly has the balls to bust up big business. Hilary is too tied in with them and Bernie has no clout.
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
The other candidates are simply … "Them hoes over there" #thots
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
Just because Hilary Clinton and Bernie sanders say nice things about minorities doesn't mean they actually mean them
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
I only trust this country to be what it is: full of shit. takes shit to know shit so we may as well, put a piece of shit in the White House
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
I have no hope for America. It is what it is. Capitalist, consumerist, racist land of make believe. Its inherently evil and must feed …
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
On others for it to survive. I didn't create it. I'm not proud of it . But I am here…. And it's all I know.
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
In conclusion, I think Donald trump is evil like America is evil and in order for America to keep up with itself it needs him.
— azealiabanks (@AZEALIABANKS) February 1, 2016
So, it sounds like Azealia Banks still really hates America.
I had to take three Tylenols to quiet the headache I got from Azealia Banks’ Twitter rant, so I’m in no position to try to make sense of it. But from what I’ve gleaned, Azealia Banks thinks Donald Trump is the best option because he’s the most evil of the candidates. By that logic, any source of evil is technically qualified to run the country. Like the factory that makes Crocs, or the dark-sided soul who discontinued McDonald’s Pizza. If it came down to Donald Trump and the person who pulled McPizza off the menu, I honestly don’t know which is less worse.
Pic: Wenn.com