Kate Winslet Worshipped At The Altar Of Susan Sarandon’s Tits Last Night

January 31, 2016 / Posted by:

I find myself staring at Susan Sarandon’s tits in that picture too and mainly because every time I look up, I see Michael Shannon throwing a creepy grin like, “Don’t tell your mother,” and it makes me want to scream for an adult.

Go ahead and file “Touching Susan Sarandon’s 69-Year-Old Chichis In Front Of A Camera At The SAG Awards” under shit that Kate Winslet doesn’t think is vulgar. I bet that this morning, the muscles in Kate Winslet’s neck are sorer than Kanye’s asshole after spending a few hours alone with a finger vibrator, because she strained every single one of them while resisting the urge to get into those titties and motorboat until her face got chapped.

Susan wanted to bring no sags to the SAGS so she put her chichis into a freakum granny bra from Frederick’s and walked the red carpet with her daughter who also brought the titty game. Forget wasting your money on that breast enlargement cream, Susan proves that what really makes your tits plump and luscious for a long time is some ping-pong boytoy jizz.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com, Getty

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