No, no, Dlisted’s new weekend writer isn’t the pride and joy of this site Phoebe Price. There’s no server in the world that is strong enough to handle all of the traffic that her words of wisdom would bring. Besides, Chicken Cutlets is much too busy doing important humanitarian work like making the world a much more beautiful and elegant place with demure and inspirational photo shoots that look straight out of a Foster Farms pin-up calendar.
PP stuck puzzle pieces, bared her raw butt cutlets and served up jigsaw cooch for a photo shoot celebrating National Puzzle Day yesterday. I used to think that all of those made-up holidays were dumb as shit, but I don’t think that anymore. They obviously exist to give goddesses like PP a reason to get naked and bring the sophistication in a theme photo shoot for the paps in her storage unit.
Dlisted’s new weekend writer is Carla and I could write a thousand words about her, but the only thing you really need to know is that she’s from America’s foremost provider of fuckery: Florida! Although, I’m not totally convinced that she’s actually from Florida because she’s never been arrested for selling bath tub meth in the parking lot of a Walmart while not wearing pants. And if you’ve never been arrested for selling bath tub meth in the parking lot of a Walmart while not wearing pants, can you really say that you’re from Florida?
Carla is taking over as your new weekend provider of foolery. Allison is moving into weekdays with me. Bear with our asses as Carla settles in and we work out the kinks. I know, I say that like this mess of a site has ever worked out its kinks.