Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Banana, the kinkajou who broke into a Florida memaw’s house in Miami and took a nap on her chest.

The only things I wake up to are a hangover and my dog drooling on my arm while farting into my side. But in Florida, they always have to do it up Florida-style by waking up to cat monkeys of the rainforest. CBS Miami says that early Tuesday morning, a 99-year-old lady woke up to find a Banana on her chest and no, that’s not a sexy euphemism. Banana’s the name of the kinkajou who somehow made his way into a lady’s home and curled up onto her sleeping body. That sounds like the start of the weirdest Golden Girls episode ever…

If any of us woke up with a kinkajou (also known as a honey bear) on our chest, we’d probably wonder how much of the sweet nectar did we drink at the bar the night before and has it really gotten to the point that we’ll take ANY trick home? But the lady jumped up and screamed, which made Banana (seen above doing the “Draw me like one of your French girls” pose) go into the attic. Grandma is probably all for sharing her bed with a kinky Jew, but not a kinkajou. She called her daughter and a friend at 2am. They came over, found Banana in the attic and watched YouTube videos to get tips on how to lure him out. They lured Banana out of the attic with cherries and got him into a cage. They took Banana to the South Dade Avian & Exotic Animal Medical Center. The vet there, Dr. Don Harris, quickly figured out that the honey bear was someone’s pet. But Dr. Don is shaking his head at Banana’s owner, because he says that kinkajous, who are distant cousins of raccoons and come from Central and South America, probably shouldn’t be anybody’s pet:

“They’re not predators, they’re very peaceful animals, they’re arboreal, they live in the treetops, they live in the branches. They eat fruit and bugs and things like that, they’re pretty docile creatures, unless cornered, and then their teeth are their defense mechanisms.

Someone who was bitten by an animal like this that didn’t get proper medical care could lose a limb.

Some people keep them as pets, but I don’t know really how often they make really good pets. It’s not the kind of animal that you can safely cuddle up with. They’re very interesting, they’re very rare.”

Banana’s human eventually picked his ass up.

Banana needs to watch whose house he breaks into and cuddles up with in the middle of the night. That woman is 99 years old and she probably thought Banana was a weird-looking Grim Reaper coming to take her away. Banana isn’t right for that. But Banana don’t care. Look at Banana. Banana looks as relaxed as me after a Calgon bath and a joint.

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >