RiRi’s first album in 3 years ANTI has been the Great Pumpkin to her fans’ Linus van Pelt. RiRi’s fans have been sitting in the patch with their thumbs in their mouth holes waiting forever for her new album to show up. It’s been a year since she put out that campfire sing-a-long shit FourFiveSeconds (featuring WILSON FUCKING PHILLIPS and some others) and everyone thought that was supposed to be the official single of her album. But when the song went nowhere, she was like, “Errr, PSYCH, that’s not the single,” and it took us fourfive seconds to forget about it. RiRi followed that up with Bitch Better Have My Money (complete with a video featuring a tied up Hannibal) and American Oxygen. RiRi kept releasing songs but the full album was nowhere to be seen.
Just when everyone was beginning to think that ANTI is the Chateau Sheree of albums and is never going to be finished, Billboard reported last night that it will come out this week. And early this morning, RiRi hoped that fourth time’s a charm when she released her album’s “first official single” Work. Work swept up on the shore through Tidal where it was exclusive for about 2 seconds before it ended up everywhere and was eventually released on iTunes.
On Work, RiRi speaks in Patois and Wheelchair Jimmy wheels in to sing on it. I’ve only listened to the song twice, but it’s so repetitive that “work work work work work” is already stuck inside of my brain and that’s a confusing message for my naturally lazy self since all I want to do is nap nap nap nap nap.
And that radio announcer should be jailed for using the words “pop emergency.” The only time those words should be used is when Stacey Q, Hoku, Cece Penniston, Martika and Samantha Fox form a pop supergroup.