Ignore that high-pitched screeching in your ear. It’s just my young gay self screaming, “It should’ve been Lynda With A Y Carter,” on a loop.
January 19th was nerd Christmas, because The CW aired their Dawn of Justice League special where Warner Bros. burped up trailers and footage from the superhero movies they’re hoping will make their bank accounts as huge as Ben Affleck’s juicy tits. The stand-alone Wonder Woman movie is still shooting and it doesn’t come out until June 23, 2017, but Warner Bros. decided to stick a little bit of the tip in by showing a few scenes from it. The edgy, dark, non-campy Wonder Woman (played Gal Gadot) has been dropped in World War I times. They didn’t say much about the plot, but I’m guessing that we’ll learn that Wonder Woman drank a lot of coffee as a child, which stunted her growth and kept her from growing into an Amazon. Chris Pine plays Wonder Woman’s bro-in-distress and Connie Nielsen, Robin Wright and Danny Huston are also in it. I see they used those Lord of the Rings filters:
There wasn’t enough there to make me scream “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” or “YEEEEEESSSSS!!!” I’m saving my voice and rage for when I find out whether or not Wonder Woman’s invisible plane makes an appearance. I can take them giving Lynda Carter’s role to somebody else. I can even take them not using Wonder Woman’s perfect theme song. But leaving out the invisible plane is illegal and an act of treason!
And since we’re on the subject of DC boner lube, here’s the full trailer for Suicide Squad:
It’s kind of giving me “Guardians of the Galaxy as seen through the eyes of Hot Topic’s #1 customer” vibes. Everyone still hates Jared Leto’s Joker, but I don’t know, his Acid Faces of Meth-looking ass is kind of doing things to me. He looks like he’d give you the most colorful genital warts ever.