I don’t know if there’s a chiropractor who works exclusively with eyes, but I’m going to need one ASAP. Trying to avoid looking at Justin Bieber’s upper dick area has seriously fucked up my ocular alignment.
After writing about Will Forte’s confused cult leader look yesterday, I honestly didn’t think I would see a more busted hair situation this weekend. And then Justin Bieber walked in, and Will was like “So long, farewell! I’ll let Justin Bieber take it from here.” On Friday, Justin Bieber walked into his favorite Kidz Kutz salon, pointed to a picture of Rarity from My Little Pony on the wall, and asked them to take his hair from Champagne Sparkle to Lilac Mist. Shortly after he got it done, Justin debuted his new purple hair in not one, but two thirsty-as-HELL Instagram mirror selfies. Somewhere, Kelly Osbourne just yelled “Oi, bitch stole my look!” And don’t even ask what Mrs. Slocombe thinks of this mess; she’s far too dignified to comment on such nonsense.
Here’s Justin leaving the salon on Friday after he went purple, and giving us all flashbacks of that kid from your high school art class who used to inhale pottery glaze.