According to People, random’s newest couple might be Ruth Stoops and the voice behind the first ringtone I bought for my Samsung Gravity (which my broke ass totally pretended was a T-Mobile Sidekick). People says Laura Dern and Common were photographed leaving a restaurant in Beverly Hills on Wednesday, and it wasn’t because they both happened to walk up to the valet stand at the same time. It was because they were on a date! I know, I really should have lead with a warning about how you might want to open a window to let out all the steam coming off this super-hot story.
Nothing else is known about Laura Dern and Common’s date, so it’s really too early to guess whether or not they’re humping. But I’m going to go ahead and guess anyway, because Laura Dern and Common are two fine peas in a sexy pod, and it would be a crime not to picture the two of them humping.
It’s also a mystery how these two met. Maybe Common was a huge Enlightened fan and this is all part of some weird fantasy to get nasty with that dizzy bitch Amy Jellicoe? That’s got to be it.
At the very least we know the date probably wasn’t a fucking disaster, otherwise they wouldn’t both be smiling. It would have been all kinds of awkward if Laura Dern was photographed reading her cellphone as they were leaving. Nothing says “Yeah, we’re done here” like whipping out your phone and scrolling through emails.
Pic: Pacific Coast News