Christian Bale Recently Quit A Movie Because He Didn’t Have Enough Time To Get Chunky For It

January 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Christian Bale, seen above looking all kinds of sexy and lumpy (don’t judge me) on the set of American Hustle a few years ago, is as method as method can be when it comes to changing his body for a role. He starved himself down to one of Giuliana Rancic’s forearms for The Machinist. Then did it again for The Fighter. Then he channeled his inner Kim Kardashian and deep-throated as much food as his gag reflex could take to chunk up for American Hustle.

Since my ass gains 5 lbs just by looking at a bag of ketchup chips (“Uh huh, looking” said the chip crumbs around my mouth), I assumed a pro like Christian Bale could gain that serious actor weight overnight. But apparently all that weight loss and weight gain takes time, and he just couldn’t do it quick enough for his latest movie, so did the chafed-thigh shuffle out the exit door. According to Deadline, Christian Bale was beefing up to play Enzo Ferrari in a biopic by Michael Mann. Filming was supposed to begin in the spring, but Christian Bale wasn’t able to safely let himself go in such a short period of time, so he decided to quit.

Michael Mann is currently looking to re-cast Christian Bale with an already-hefty actor. You hear that, Bear from The Revenant? Call you agent!

Speaking of that Bear (which was a dude in a CGI suit, because Hollywood is LIES), was it really necessary for Christian Bale to gain a bunch of weight? Could they not just CGI a couple extra chins and love handles onto his body in post-production? Also, if it’s a movie about Enzo Ferrari, wouldn’t he be in a car most of the time? I’m no expert, but I feel like that kind of fat would be super easy to fake. Just throw a bunch of heavy shit in the trunk and blame the drag on Christian Bale’s character’s ass.

Pic: Splash

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