Who Is Hot Slut Of 2015: Final Round!

And finally, the moment that EVERYONE has been waiting for. It’s time to vote for the first Hot Slut of the Year since STAINS took the crown in 2009. STAINS most likely traded that busted crown in for a half-eaten stale cupcake (it’s all he could get for it) so the new winner will get the fanciest Photoshopped crown I can buy for cheap from a stock photo agency. Only the best for our first HSOTY in years!

Eugene Bostick, Texas’ Patron Saint of Abandoned Dogs won round 3 and has moved on to the final round with The DGAF Pussy and Roger the Buff Kangaroo. It all comes down to the gold-hearted leader of a dog train, a bro kangaroo who almost puts The Rock to shame and a fuck deficient pussy who won’t bother finding one fuck to give if he wins. Actually, none of them will care. The DGAF Pussy won’t care, because he doesn’t care about anything. Roger the Buff Kangaroo won’t care, because kangaroos can’t read blog posts. And Eugene Bostick won’t care, because he’s busy doing the lord’s work. But we’ll care!

Voting is below. I hid the results so that the winner will be a major dramatic surprise. No, I’m not going to fix it. If I was going to do that, I’d just make Phoebe Price “Hot Babe of the Year” again. Our new Hot Slut ruler will be announced in an opulent crowning ceremony (read: a short post with a janky Photoshopped picture) next Friday.