Who Is Hot Slut Of 2015: Round 2

January 11, 2016 / Posted by:

Before we start farting up more Golden Globes crap, let’s get into an award that really matters (to me and me only). To the shock of no bitch, a pussy won round 1 of the Hot Slut of the Year  contest and a different pussy was runner-up. It came down to Bart the Zombie Cat and the DGAF pussy. They were sort of head-to-head until the DGAF pussy pushed Bart the Zombie Cat back into his shallow grave like the cold-hearted cunt puss he is. And we love him for being a cold-hearted cunt puss. Now he’s headed straight for the top bottom, because he won round 1 of HSOTY and he’s going to the final round. Now on to round 2…

Round 2 is a clusterfuck of hotness. We’ve got a double ray of potent Irish gayness, Madonna’s body twin who happens to be a kangaroo, the artiste who covered Portland with dicks and two British beauties who are even more plastic than the dildos that dangled from a wire in Portland. Here are your choices:

May’s HSOTM: The double rainbow over Ireland! The day that Ireland voted to make the misery of marriage legal for every trick in the land, a double rainbow filled the sky. It was either God’s version of “two thumbs up” or it was from the gay angels in heaven farting out rainbow rays of pure happiness.

June’s HSOTM: Roger the buff kangaroo! Roger is a kangaroo from The Kangaroo Sanctuary Alice Springs in Australia and while most of your lazy asses are sleeping, he’s probably doing CrossFit! I mean that literally, because my Google Analytics tell me that most of Dlisted’s readers are in the US, so while it’s sleepy time for us Americans, it’s morning time in Australia and Roger is definitely doing CrossFit then. But anyway, he’s a buff kangaroo and I hope he stars in the sequel to Creed.

July’s HSOTM: Portland’s dildo decorator! Last year, a beautiful soul did the lord’s work when she threw dildos over telephone wires in Portland, Oregon. She said that she did it, because it had to be done. She’s right and she better get an HGTV show where she visits towns and decorates their streets with rubber dicks, because this world definitely needs more rubber dicks.

August’s HSOTM: The mother/daughter Katie Price twins! A mother and a daughter in Britain decided it would be a good idea to get a ton of plastic surgeries and injections to look like their beauty idol Katie Price. They didn’t achieve their goal, because they don’t look like Katie Price. They look ten billion times more beautiful than Katie Price.

Voting is below. The winner will be announced on Wednesday Vote with your everything!


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