One of my favorite things that happened during the Golden Globes last night was when our new Laurel and Hardy, Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer, presented together and did their schtick. Amy Schumer played the dumb, slutty one and JLaw was the “straight one” and it went on and on and on. It felt like two awkward children practicing their comedy act in front of their parents and their parents’ friends in the living room during a dinner party. But I’m glad it went on forever, because if it didn’t, we probably wouldn’t have the image of Queen Latifah smiling through the confusion. This is the perfect “The fuck is happening, I’m not high enough for this” face:
After Jennifer Lawrence confused the shit out of Queen Latifah (and everyone else), she took to the stage again when she beat her best friend forever Amy Schumer for Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical for the comedy work she did in the comedy Joy. While accepting her 10,000th Golden Globe, Jennifer Lawrence pretty much burped up an ode to David O. Russell. She should’ve just invited him on stage, pulled down his pants, spread his nalgas and stuck her tongue all the way in, because she gave him a seriously sloppy verbal rim job. After she was done licking David O. Russell’s ass, she used her mouth to jokingly (I think) lecture a reporter in the press room.
One reporter, whose first language probably isn’t English, was looking at his phone while asking her a question. It seemed like he was reading the question from his phone, but she wasn’t having any of it. She sat him down in a desk in the front of the classroom and schooled him on cell phone etiquette. When the reporter tried to spit out his question about the Oscars, Ms. Lawrence let him know that they were at the Golden Globes, not the Oscars, thankyouverymuch. Someone should’ve sat Ms. Lawrence down in a desk in the front of the classroom and taught her a quick lesson in how to open her ears and listen, because dude was obviously going to ask her a question about the UPCOMING Oscars.
I don’t know if she was being funny or was really pissed. But if she was really pissed, why? Bitch wins Golden Globes without even trying, she doesn’t have to play Powerball since she’s got a giant mountain of money sitting in her savings account and she can sniff almost any man fart she wants. She is living the life. Well, maybe she wanted to make the master of assholeness David O’Russell proud, which she did.
And here’s more of Jennifer Lawrence working that diamond bib and Republican First Lady hair, as well as pictures of Amy Schumer wearing the messy second cousin of Brenda and Kelly’s Spring Dance dress.