When I went to the Mayan ruins in Tulum a couple of years ago, I watched a trucker hat-wearing tourist take a selfie using a selfie stick and I thought that was the most disrespectful act the Mayan gods will ever witness. But the Canadian anal fissure topped that yesterday by acting like a spoiled drunk mess at the Mayan ruins. Ellen DeGeneres better clear her schedule and pull out the glycerine, because Justin Bieber is going to go on her show to cry out fake tears while swearing that he’s really sowwy this time.
The Biebs and his current hanger-on Hailey Baldwin took their love to Mexico where they visited Tulum yesterday. The Daily Mirror says that the Biebs, Hailey and their gang of hood rat stuff hooligans went to the Mayan ruins at about 4pm. Their visit was a wreck from start to finish. The Biebs was stopped by security when he tried to get in while holding a beer. Since nobody likes a drunk baby, they made the Biebs dump his beer before going in. They should’ve jailed him right then and there, but they let him in. That was a mistake.
The possessed My Buddy doll allegedly climbed a few ruins and went into off-limits areas. When he was told to stop, he allegedly showed his ass in more ways than one. The Biebs apparently climbed one of the ruins and pulled down his pants and his chonies and mooned everyone. It’s bad enough that everyone had to look at his face and then he forced them to look at his ass too? He should’ve been jailed for that also, but they kicked him out instead. TMZ says that the Biebs and his bodyguards cursed out the staff and they all got into a 15-minute-long shoving fight before he left. La policía were called, but the Biebs was gone by the time they showed up.
The Biebs has become known for smearing his chunky doucheness all over historical sites. King Joffrey Bieber made his bodyguards carry his ass up the Great Wall of China and when he visited Anne Frank’s House, he wrote “Hopefully she would have been a Belieber” in the guestbook. Someone think he’s the new Ozzy Osbourne.…
If the Biebs hasn’t busted out of Mexico yet, the authorities should catch him and force him to share a cell with the newly-captured El Chapo. Wait, that’s a bad idea. El Chapo is probably going to escape again, but he’d speed that up if he had to share a cell with that annoying brat. I know, what they should do. The authorities should sacrifice the Biebs and that Affluenza asshole to the Mayan gods! No, that’s a bad idea too. The Mayan gods would punish us for giving them our worst.