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January 7, 2016 / Posted by:

The Internet famous Drummond Puddle!

The Israelites had the Red Sea, us children of the 80s had the river of death in The Oregon Trail computer game and the people of Newcastle in England had the Drummond Puddle! Everyone in California needs to stop crying about El Niño, because Newcastle had to deal with a much bigger water-related event. They had El Puddle!

Bored office workers at Drummond Central, a marketing agency (of course), noticed that a bunch of people were having a hard time getting around a big puddle outside of their building. After they were entertained by the puddle struggles for a while, they decided that the public needed to be entertained too. So they set up a live stream (not punned on purpose) on Periscope and one of the most important moments in British history was born!

Someone sent me a link to the Drummond Puddle (which sounds like something Edna Garrett had to clean up next to Mr. Drummond’s toilet) live stream yesterday and told me that I had to watch that mess. I said “nuh uh” to that shit. I didn’t want to get sucked in. Unless there’s 6 Shiba Inu puppies doing the backstroke in that puddle, I wasn’t interested. But I was alone in thinking that. HuffPo UK says that over the course of a few hours yesterday, around 500,000 people spent their time watching other people try to make the incredible journey across the Drummond Puddle. Some people walked around it, some leaped across it like Shelley Long in Outrageous Fortune and some real brave bitches just walked through it. Once the Drummond Puddle became an Internet star, it attracted a few attention whores who fluttered to it, because they knew that thousands of people were watching. They took a bath in it, brought out their surfboards, etc… If Lindsay Lohan wasn’t on an out call in another country, she would’ve definitely showed up in her bikini. Here’s a few riveting moments from the Drummond Puddle Saga!

And some mess put water from the Drummond Puddle in a Smart Water bottle and is selling it on eBay where it’s up to around $96,000 thanks to 30 totally real bids. I know, a Smart Water bottle. Jennifer Aniston’s shameless whoring of Smart Water knows no bounds!

drummondpuddlewater2016

The Drummond Puddle is over…for now. But I’m sure we’ll all relive the drama it brought when Steven Spielberg makes a sweeping 3D epic about it starring Leonardo DiCaprio in his most challenging role yet!

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