Le Tax Man Is Coming For Kunty Karl For Allegedly Trying To Hide Over $21 Million From The Government
Fatties, ugly people, Adele and Pippa Middleton are all cackling into the night, because the grand lord of the Death Eaters Kunty Karl is being investigated by French tax authorities for using all kinds of schemes to hide more than 20 million euros. Kunty Karl’s white pot scrubber hair isn’t only filled with the screams of his victims. It may also be filled with tax-evading secrets.
The French newspaper L’Express (via The Daily Mail) says that French authorities believe that over the course of 6 years, Kunty Karl failed to declare a total of 20 million euros. They believe he’s been using places like the British Virgin Islands, Delaware and Ireland to circulate his millions. Authorities are focusing on 7L, a bookshop that Kunty Karl founded in 1999 in Paris. Inside of Kunty Karl’s bookshop is a photo studio owned by a British company, which takes in the revenue from his photography work. The bookshop doesn’t pay taxes because it doesn’t make any money. Apparently, the French authorities think the foreign transactions allowed the “concealing of the undeclared professional activity” of Karl as a photographer.
The French tax authorities are also running their magnifying glasses over two property investment companies and a tax adjustment Kunty Karl got in the 90s.
Reps for the French tax authorities and Kunty Karl wouldn’t say anything about this.
When Karl is ready to spit out words about this, I’m sure he’ll call the French tax authorities fat jealous uglies and he’ll also say that he has nothing to do with this. Kunty Karl doesn’t have time to deal with frivolous and petty things like paying taxes and keeping track of his own money. He’s too busy doing more important things like finding virgins to sacrifice to his maker and making overpriced clothes. But really, if Kunty Karl is charged with anything and goes to prison, he can take it. I mean, he already sleeps in an ice cold coffin and the depressing darkness of his prison cell would probably comfort him. But what about his delicate pussy daughter Choupette Lagerfeld?! If he loses all of his money, Choupette will have to eat out of a regular cat bowl instead of a goblet made out of crystal and she’ll have to eat peasant food like Fancy Feast instead of caviar. And she won’t be able to fly in a private jet anymore!
I swear, if Kunty Karl loses his fortune to the French government, every one of us must sell everything we own and donate our money to Choupette, because we cannot live in a world where she’s forced to fly coach!