Jeremy Renner Is Officially Divorced

December 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Jeremy Renner took a break from posting picture after picture of the back of his daughter’s head on Instagram to wrap up his slightly messy divorce from his wife of 10 months Sonni Pacheco. I’m in Colorado right now, but I’m sure that if I press my ear up against the window, I’ll be able to hear Jeremy Renner’s “roommate” scream, “WE’RE FREEEEEE,” all the way from L.A.

Jeremy and Sonni’s custody fight ended a few months ago when they agreed to share custody of their 2-year-old daughter Ava. Jeremy has to pay Sonni $13,000 a month in child support. When Sonni filed for divorce, she said that the prenup they signed should be torched up because of “fraud.” We all clutched our anal beads and whispered, “escandalo,” over that one. Sonni wanted spousal support, a Range Rover and money from Hawkeye for moving expenses. Sonni also claimed that Jeremy was holding her passport hostage.

People says that Sonni didn’t get what she wanted. The prenup stuck and she won’t get one dime in spousal support.

Jeremy and Sonni didn’t exactly get Kelly Rutherford levels of messy, but they did throw a few dingles at each other. Jeremy’s “roommate” accused Sonni of being a shitty mother who did coke on vacation once and stopped breastfeeding so she could drink the sweet nectar. I know, she is a shit mom for denying her baby vodka-infused tit milk. Jeremy claimed that Sonni, who’s from Canada, only married him for a green card and for money. She was also accused of blackmailing Jeremy by threatening to release “intimate videos” of him.

Sure, Sonni has earned her degree in #getmoneybitch since she’s set up for a while, but I’m sure she’s still got the sads. I mean, now that she’s no longer living in Jeremy Renner’s house, who’s going to make sure that her eyeliner game is always on point? But really, we’re the ones who got cheated the most, because those embarrassing videos of Jeremy never got leaked. I was all ready to fall out of myself while watching a scandalous video of Hawkeye using an eyeliner template like a fucking amateur!


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