Ryan Phillippe Is Getting Married To His 24-Year-Old Girlfriend

December 29, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, that’s…special” thought his 16-year-old daughter.

According to UsWeekly, 41-year-old Ryan Phillippe has decided to make 24-year-old law student Paulina Slagter his second wife. A source (Hi Paulina!) says that Reese Witherspoon’s ex-husband proposed on Christmas and celebrated their engagement in Miami shortly after. Normally the news that an almost-middle-aged famous-type father of three proposed to some random model-looking 24-year-old would make me reach for my trusty Joan “judging all of this” Holloway gif, but apparently they’ve been together for four years. So…maybe it’s true love? Somewhere on the internet, that Joan Holloway gif just started judging me.

I have the memory of a not-smart goldfish (you know, the one you find tangled in the plastic tank plants at PetSmart), so my brain started typing up a bunch of question marks when I read the name “Paulina Slagter“. I thought Ryan was still with the mother of his third kid, Alexis Knapp, but that’s clearly not the case. Regardless, I do hope Paulina decides to keep her last name after they get married. First of all, any name that contains the word slag is perfect and wonderful and must not be changed in any way. Second, her name is perfect for a “Slagter? I hardly know ‘er!” joke, because really, I honestly hardly know her.

Obviously the part I should be caring about is the size of the rock currently cramping up the muscles in her ring finger, but all I can think about is how jealous I am of everyone who gets invited to Ryan and Paulina’s wedding. Ryan is on good terms with his ex-wife, which means there’s always a chance she’ll be there. And if she’s there, and there’s an open bar, there’s a very good chance they’ll all be treated to Reese’s dope drunk mom wedding dance moves.

Pic: Splash

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