I’d say you should go ahead and file this under “Terrible Fucking Ideas“, but I’m pretty sure that typing their names plus the words “sober companion” was enough for my computer to recognize it as some kind of error and did it itself.
TMZ says that professional Steff McKee cosplayer Scott Disick and Anger’s closest living DNA match Chris Brown have been hanging out a lot, and apparently they’re not bonding over how many times they’ve rudely cut in line at Craig’s and heard a bunch of people whisper “Asshole” under their breath. Sources close to Scott and Chris (okay, so Kris Jenner using three throwaway email addresses, got it) claim that they are joined at the hip because both of them are trying to stay dry. Something that is nearly impossible, since they’re both 98% douche, and douche is a liquid.
Both Scott Disick and Chris Brown have gotten the dirty side-eye for being drunk messes, and Scott’s problems were eventually worked into a time-filling secondary story line on Keeping Up With Kris’ Skanky Daughters. Normally it’s a recipe for disaster when two people who get horny for booze get together, but they both think they can help each other stay sober.
At the very least, they can both remind the other one that they have a kid at home who probably doesn’t want their daddy getting sloppy at the club and that it might be time to switch to Shirley Temples. Or just read whatever Kris Jenner wrote on the KUWTK kue kard that she slipped into their pockets before they went out.
Here’s more of Scott and Chris putting in some sober buddy overtime while leaving 1 Oak in Los Angeles together last week. Yes, 1 Oak is a club. Listen, I never said they were any good at their jobs.