I know that Stone Cold Tom Hardy is going for, “Bitch, don’t even,” with that pose, but I’m grabbing the ass lube, because to me it looks like he’s saying, “Sit on this, spin and let’s vape afteward.”
Last week, Drew McWeeny, a film critic for HitFix, released a river of rant tweets where he spit at Tom Hardy for keeping him, and other reporters, waiting for hours during a press junket for The Revenant. Drew claimed that Tom has a history of being a shit head to the press and he once took a nap during a junket in Toronto. Drew left The Revenant junket without getting an interview with Tom. For some weird reason, I thought that Tom Hardy would let it go and snuggle with a dog friend instead. But nope, Tom threw up an open letter to Drew on his fansite even though the two exchanged e-mails in private.
Tom’s hilarious open letter is a passive-aggressive journey that goes from sort-of apology to blaming Drew to issuing a chest puffed threat to ending with a nice, giant dollop of freshly whipped sarcasm. This reads like a WWE monologue:
Thankyou for your email offering to retract your misdirected anger. I apologise for any part of you having to wait for an interview and then not get one. The truth is we (as I was paired for all interviews that day) were unaware that ANYBODY was waiting. Or even went without a TV interview. Someone somewhere must have thought putting it on me was a lot easier than losing their journalist relations for the ongoing junkets and multiple movies that are pending. I wish I would have napped to be honest.
One note to make is that per Fox, they said they “never actually told (you) that the interview was cancelled, simply that they were running behind schedule.” They also said that “Drew chose not to wait and left. Had he stayed, he would have gotten his interview as planned.”
Fuck.. Plot thickens … Who knows what to trust my friend, but I do know the cancellation was definitely not made by myself.
I’m a little shocked that Tom Hardy didn’t call Drew “Mr. McWhiny” or “Mr. McWiener.” And this is my favorite part. I love it when tricks show that they have a doctorate in passive-aggressiveness by threatening a bitch without directly threatening a bitch.
Resisting the urge to dare you to say what you “rant tweeted” so publicly, to my face next time we meet, which I doubt you have the balls to do; I want to apologise regardless on behalf of those that misled the both of us. That isn’t cool. At all. Neither were your tweets. But that’s by the by.
I appreciate your apology of sorts in your emails to and fro which I am happy to openly post. Also as I hope you understand now and which you’ve made very clear in our emails back and forth, your legitimate frustration lies with those who organised the junket; who fed you and I misinformation; not me.
Again apologies for the clusterfk. And it’s knock on effect to your personal life. I appreciate it is a busy time of year for you and your time shouldn’t have been wasted. I never had any intention of causing you any inconveniences at all.
Best regards and thanks for calling me an asshole a lot
The second part of that open letter gave me serious “my dick is bigger than yours” vibes. So, basically, this “feud” needs to end with a dick measuring contest that should be live streamed in IMAX 3D.
UPDATE: Drew at HitFix tweeted a response to Tom Hardy’s response. Drew threw another PLOT TWIST at us by saying that he’s never ever exchanged e-mails with Tom Hardy. Show us the receipts, Tom!
Here’s some truth for you: I have never exchanged any e-mails with Tom Hardy. Hmmmm. Guess we can keep those plot twists coming, huh? You want to believe what you want to believe. I’m not going to stop you. And I don’t need anyone to pick sides. You’re being very silly. The cult of personality is very powerful. This is why Donald Trump does so well. Amidst all of this, I named “Mad Max: Fury Road” my second favorite film of the year. “Revenant” is in my Runners-up. Boy, I hold a grudge. The whole world is a schoolyard, and most of you, deep down at heart, side with the bullies.