Every time I see that picture of Rocco Ritchie from June, I think to myself two things: 1) I’m older than I ever imagined. And 2) Madge, Guy Ritchie, Rocco and Sean Penn should all go on an episode of Maury together, because that kid sort of looks like Jeff Spicoli’s twin. But then I remember that Rocco has never been accused of hitting anyone with a bat or arrested for dangling a pap over a balcony, so I doubt he’s Sean Penn’s child.
If you’re the parent of a teenager, it really wouldn’t be holiday times unless you got into a big ass fight with them. Page Six says that Madge’s holiday fight with her 15-year-old son Rocco Ritchie ended up in court this morning. Rocco spent months on tour with his mom, so he’s apparently sick of her shit and needs time away from her. Rocco has been spending time with his dad Guy Ritchie in London and he was supposed to fly back to NYC to spend Christmas with his mom. But he said fuck no to that.
Madge could’ve used her dark magic powers to hypnotize Rocco through Skype and force him to get on a plane, but she didn’t do that. Instead, Madge and her lawyer were in court this morning to get a judge to force Rocco to come home. The judge sided with her.
Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Deborah Kaplan ordered Rocco to come home, but Ritchie’s attorney made it clear that he would not voluntarily return to the US.
“He has expressed very clearly that he does not want to return to New York,” Ritchie’s attorney Eric Buckley told the judge.
Guy’s lawyer also told the judge that Rocco wants to live permanently with his dad. The judge said that’s fine and everything, but he still has to go to NYC and stay there until custody changes. The source says that Rocco may ignore the judge’s order, because he’s not getting along with his mom and doesn’t want to spend Christmas with her.
Kelly Rutherford is probably trying to get a hold of Madge to tell her that the two should join forces and march up to the White House to demand that the US government bring their AMERICAN CITIZEN children home!
On one hand, being forced to spend Christmas in a multi-million dollar Manhattan townhouse while surrounded by all of the luxurious presents your mom tried to buy your love with is the epitome of first world teen problems. On the other hand, forcing a hormonal teenager to do anything is flirting with death! Does Madge really want to see Rocco throw potent stank eyes at her as she opens up the canary diamond Grillz and marijuana leaf pasties her latest South American boy toy bought her with her money? Yeah, she probably does.