This isn’t even the most Nicolas Cage story of all-time. It can get a whole lot more Nicolas Cage-ier. I bet his wig didn’t even move an inch when his butler, who has to dress up like Alfred from Batman, walked into his man cave, which is done up like King Tut’s tomb, to tell him that the Mongolian government has requested that he returns the stolen dinosaur skull he bought at auction. Just another day in the life of this crazy mess.
Nicolas Cage went broke from spending his millions of dollars on all sorts of weird rich people shit and that includes a Tyrannosaurus bataar skull he bought from a gallery in L.A. in 2007. Nicolas Cage reportedly paid $276,000 for the skull at an auction and he outbid Leonardo DiCatchAHo. Goddamnit, Leonardo DiCatchAHo can’t even win a dino skull from Nicolas Cage! Reuters says that a shady paleontologist named Eric Prokopi smuggled the dino skull out of Mongolia and into the US. He later sold it to the I.M. Chait (Is that pronounced “I Am Shit”?) gallery in Beverly Hills.
Eric Prokopi plead guilty in 2012 to smuggling other parts of the Tyrannosaurus skeleton out of the Gobi desert. He spent 3 months in the chokey and as part of his plea deal, he agreed to help US authorities find the fossils he stole. They’ve recovered 17 fossils so far.
The US attorney in Manhattan, Preet Bharara, filed a complaint in court last week to get the Tyrannosaurs skull back. Nicolas Cage wasn’t named in the complaint, but his rep says that he bought the skull in 2007 and he plans to return it. Nicolas Cage probably won’t be charged with anything. The Guardian says that the gallery Nicolas Cage bought the skull from has bought illegal dinosaur skeletons from Eric Prokopi before. The owner of that gallery is supposedly a high-level Scientologist who is… wait for it… wait for it… absolutely fucking nuts. The gallery owner probably won’t face charges either.
Nicolas Cage probably can’t even get a refund and he needs that cash to buy matching pyramid tombs for his entire family. Sure, Nicolas Cage probably used the dino skull as a hat rack for his guests, but he was done with it as soon as he copied the map to hidden treasure that was etched into the bottom of it. And now I’m totally convinced that every single role that Nicolas Cage has played in movies was based on real-life experiences.