It feels like I’ve been seeing previews for that Joy Mangano movie that is not totally about Joy Mangano for months and I thought it already came, went and is now playing at the dollar theater for moms who only go there to drink in peace away from their kids. Joy isn’t out yet. It comes out on Christmas Day, and so Jennifer Lawrence is doing some last-minute hustling for it.
JLaw was on Watch What Happens When Real Celebrities Get Drunk Around Reality Show Wrecks last night and Andy Cohen tried to get her to admit to boning Chris Martin, but she shook that question off. I don’t blame her. When you’ve licked Goopy’s dried goop off of Chris Martin’s peen, you never ever admit it. But during a game of Plead The Fifth, Andy asked her if her mouth ever got a serving of Liam Hemsworth’s spit when a camera wasn’t around. It has.
JLaw: Liam and I grew up together. Liam’s real hot.
Andy: I Agree.
JLaw: What would you have done?
Andy: I would say yes.
Andy. I’d pick Gale over Peeta any day.
JLaw: I did! At one point.
The clip of JLaw admitting to sucking face with Liam is below, and the way she squirms in her chair tells me that while making out with him, she inhaled the scent of his Vegemite farts and thinking of that moment still stirs her insides.
She also said that she took a hit from a bong before one of the Oscars. She wouldn’t say which one. JLaw has been to 3 Oscars and she fell at 2 of them. If she inhaled a cloud of the good shit before one of the Oscars where she fell, she’s a major lightweight and should’ve pleaded the fifth to that question. Even the Stoner Sloths would be ashamed of her.