Today In High Art: James Franco Is Producing A Remake Of “Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?” For Lifetime

December 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Douche-of-all-trades James Franco somehow found time in between being a savior to the gay community and turning the works of William Faulkner into comedy foolery to put together a remake of the TV cult classic Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? for Lifetime. James Franco truly is a saint of art, because he already gifted the world of daytime with his artistic presence and now he’s doing the same to the world of basic cable messiness.

The Hollywood Reporter says that James Franco will executive produce the redo and he also updated the story. Amber Coney is writing the script and Melanie Aitkenhead will direct. Lifetime will air it sometime next year. Oh, and Tori Spelling will play the mother whose daughter asks her if she can fuck danger.

Franco’s collaboration with Lifetime, which will help mark the original film’s 20th anniversary, comes on the heels of the network’s surprise collaboration with Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig for A Deadly Adoption earlier this year. The project, which was first reported by The Hollywood Reporter on April Fool’s Day, was made in secrecy and denied by the network several times — that is until billboards started popping up in Los Angeles two months later. The film drew more than 6 million viewers over its premiere weekend.

Up until today, I thought that MMISWD was a Lifetime movie. It wasn’t. It was supposed to be released in theaters, but when nobody wanted to distribute that turd, NBC released it as a TV-movie-of-the-week in 1996. MMISWD is kind of like a lower-budget Fear. It’s about a college chick whose boyfriend seems all nice and sweet at first but turns into a crazed stalker and possible murderer. Someone uploaded the whole thing onto YouTube if you need your daily dose of cinematic perfection today.

Why does James Franco have to ruin EVERYTHING?

MMISWD is the kind of perfect piece of shit that doesn’t need to be touched. It was perfect, because Tori Spelling thought she was giving a Meryl Streep-level performance and she looked like Mac from Mac and Me in a Hillary Clinton circa 1997 wig. The only way I’ll be okay with this is if James Franco plays the Tori Spelling role and he brings back that hot piece Ivan Sergei as the crazy boyfriend. I always thought it was weird that he found time to stalk Tori Spelling’s ass since he obviously spent at least 5 hours a day mousse-ing up his hair into a magnificent merengue of hotness.

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