In case you’re wondering why I chose to cover up Miley Cyrus’ NSFW bits with two Baywatch floaties, it’s because it felt appropriate to visually balance out the plastic on the right with some plastic on the left. I know, what a waste of time – acting like I could ever match the high levels of factory-manufactured synthetic glamour of Pamela Anderson with two pitiful plastic rescue floaties.
Miley Cyrus must have been reminded that there’s only a few more days before Santa Claus comes to town, and that if she wants to wake up Christmas morning and find a shiny new bong and a bottle of Elmer’s stuffed in her stocking, she better do something to ensure a permanent spot on the nice list. So she pulled a Taylor Swift (or at least the vape-smoking Ebike-riding Kmart parking lot version of Taylor Swift) and “Please welcome to the stage“-d international icon of ageless beauty Pamela Anderson at her Dead Petz show in Los Angeles last night.
Pamela Anderson doesn’t need a reason to be on stage any more than a dazzling gemstone needs a reason to be glued onto an exquisite nipple pasty, but Pammy came prepared and used her time on stage to draw attention to the whales. Specifically, saving them. Sadly, Pammy’s homemade Save The Whales sign couldn’t steal the spotlight from her ‘Just woke up on a stranger’s couch’ hair, Sunday morning breakfast-making cotton underwear ensemble, and Klassy Times™ stripper heels. But she tried, and that’s all that matters.
That’s the way you bring attention to a cause! You write your message on your thigh and bust out a Sally O’Malley on Beth Ditto Penguin. “I’m Pamela Anderson, and I like to kick, streeeeetch, and kick. I’m (almost) fifty!”
Here’s more of Pamela showing Miley Cyrus how it’s done (“it” being “prancing around half-naked in your underwear“) last night. Obviously most of these are NSFW, thanks to Miley’s airbrushed clit panties and rubber boobies.