Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 17, 2015 / Posted by:

Abi-Maria Gomes, the true villainess queen of Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance!

The 569th season finale of Survivor happened last night and sadly it didn’t end with the final 6 quitting the game and handing the $1 million prize to the queen of the season Abi-Maria after realizing that their game was shit and weak compared to hers. Abi-Maria was voted out a few episodes ago, but I’ve been waiting to make her today’s HSOTD, because I was hoping that she’d drag those hos and verbally shank them left and right during the final tribal council in the last episode. Abi-Maria brought notes to the final tribal council, so I poured an extra large glass of the sweet nectar and sat back thinking that she’d use those notes to read the final 3. But that didn’t happen. Abi-Maria was kind of nice… Did the producers sedate her? Or did she think that if she acted nice during tribal council everyone would die of shock and she’d automatically win the crown since she’d technically be the last one standing?

The Great Value version of Carmen Electra came from Survivor Philippines (aka Blair Warner’s season) and she was a Brazilian thorn in everyone’s asshole during that season. When she came into Survivor Cambodia, she said she was going to play it differently this season, but thank god that didn’t happen. Abi-Maria quickly annoyed the other contestants and most found her as pleasant as masturbating with a jellyfish. Abi-Maria called Stephen “poopy pants” when he got sick and she giggled when Joe passed out during a challenge. Oh, I love her.

Abi-Maria ruled the game for a minute, but like any mastermind ruler, her subjects got jealous and voted her off. Before last night’s finale, People asked Abi-Maria if she’ll ever grace TV screens with her presence again and she said this:

Well, three years from now I hope to be married with babies! [Laughs] I don’t know. I need some time to think about that one. Maybe if they call me and sweet talk me, maybe!

Please, Abi lives to get on the nerves of Survivor contestants. She probably begged to get back on again. I hope it worked, because when the 570th season of Survivor premieres next February, I need to see her twirling on the beach like, “Surprise, bitch.”

Pic: CBS

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