Open Post: Hosted By The Shirtless And Wet Runner Of Chicago

It’s the middle of December and so the people of Chicago should be busy chiseling off the icicles that form around their assholes. But because of GLOBAL WARMING, it’s warm there as well as most parts of the country. Tahman Bradley of WGN-TV was doing a report on the weirdly warm weather last night when a hot, wet, bearded and shirtless dude named Ethan Renoe ran by. Tahman interviewed the shirtless runner and in that short time we learned that he loves running in the rain and he’s single. Ethan went on with his run, but by the time he was finished, his cameo on the news went viral, because we’re all hungry for man nipples and happy trails.

The clip with Ethan’s man nipples in it got over a million views real quick. Tahman had Ethan, who is a Tim Tebow type and went to the Moody Bible Institute, back on WGN for a follow-up interview. The strange thing is that Ethan wore a top for his follow-up interview. Um, dude’s 15 milliseconds of fame are thanks to his nipples and yet he covered them up? The HELL kind of producing is this?

I think he said something about how he shirtless jogs for Jesus, or something. I don’t know. I couldn’t hear what he said over the sound of me screaming, “Shut the hell up and take that top off!” I mean, it’s a weather report and how am I supposed to know if it’s raining if I can’t see the raindrops dripping on his nips?