Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 14, 2015 / Posted by:

I nearly murdered myself in the ballroom with the candlestick yesterday after I found out that it was the movie Clue’s 30th anniversary and I failed to pay proper homage to it. But I guess better late than now, and yes, that’s what all disrespectful late ass hos say.

Clue was released on December 13, 1985 and it flopped at the box office. But that’s just because the public didn’t recognize true brilliance when they saw it. I don’t think I saw Clue until I was a teenage gay and that was after it became a cult classic. It was obsession at first sight for me, because everything about it is perfect from Lesley Ann Warren being hot as Miss Scarlet (Fun fact: Carrie Fisher was supposed to play Miss Scarlet but she checked into rehab instead), Tim Curry being Tim Curry and Madeline Kahn giving a multiple Oscar-worthy performance as Mrs. White. I was going to make the FLAMES on the side of Mrs. White’s face HSOTD, but that goes without saying.

So I want to pay tribute to one of my favorite parts of that masterpiece. The singing telegram girl shows up for a quick second before and she gets shot dead. But it’s an unforgettable quick second and I didn’t know until much later that she was played by Jane Wiedlin. In those few seconds, Jane Wiedlin gave the performance of a lifetime.

“I am your singing telegram” is a line that will stay with me forever and when I get to the gates of hell (because let’s be real, that’s where I’m going), I’m going to sing that line while fake tap dancing.

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