Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 8, 2015 / Posted by:

I’ve emptied out my checking account, sold my most cherished belongings (a She-Ra doll, an autographed pair of Shauna Sand’s exquisite Lucite heels and Footballers Wives: The Complete Series DVD collection) and I tried to sell Dlisted to the highest bidder but the best offer I was got was for a few dollars and a bottle of lube from someone who planned to turn the site into a used dildo classifieds site (not a bad offer, I know). I’m trying to liquidate all my assets so I have as much cash as possible to buy as many important historical artifacts as possible from the vault of priceless treasures that Dame Joan Collins has opened up to the world.

Dame Joan said on Today yesterday that she has so much stuff she doesn’t use or wear anymore. Yes, the MET, the Smithsonian and the Louvre got on their hands and knees and begged her to give everything to them, but since she’s a saint, she decided to share her jewels, gowns and art with the world. Julien’s Auctions is auctioning off dozens of gorgeous items that belong to the most glamorous creature in the world.

The Property From The Collection of Dame Joan Collins includes paintings, furniture that looks like it came from a Bombay Company clearance sale, belts from 90s hell, power suits, shoes, jewelry and Alexis Carrington’s costumes. The catalog looks like a yard sale in heaven.

The auction is on December 16th and you can see everything here. Pretty much everything in the Dame Joan Collins’ Collection is more important than the Mona Lisa, but one of my favorites is the stunning purple workout ensemble that she wore in a commercial for a gym. I completely forgot that Dame Joan was in a commercial for Holiday Health Club in the olden days. Dame Joan is auctioning off the deflated purple satin bundt cake headband she wore on her head and the exquisite leotard that hugged her pristine oyster.

Julien’s estimates that it will get $400 to $600. That must be a major typo. That estimate is missing a whole lot of zeroes. I mean, that leotard has touched Dame Joan’s goddess crotch. It should get at least $60,000,000. And that would be a steal!

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