In news that’ll probably make God’s administrative offices file a copyright infringement lawsuit against Kim Kartrashian and Kanye West, the two throbbing ego-filled pimples confirmed today that giving their kid a name that will get them as much attention as possible is more important than giving their kid a name that won’t make him cringe.
There was a rumor that Kim and Kanye were going to name their brand new son “Robert” after her dad, but ho please. The day they give their kid a normal, boring name like “Robert West” is the day that Pimp Mama Kris stops re-energizing her evil by feeding on the blood of her victims. We all figured they’d bring the foolery with their baby’s name, but I was hoping they’d go with something like “Go West” or “Wild Wild West” or the more honest “Why Me West.” But they decided to name him Saint West, which sounds like the name of the third most busiest hospital in the Seattle area. It sounds like the name of a hospital that Shonda Rhimes would write a show about.
Kim burped up the announcement with emojis, of kourse, on her site today:
Well, if you were a newborn baby and found out your parents are Kanye and Kim, your first words would probably be, “SANTO DIOS,” so I guess that name is pretty fitting. But what’s even more dreadful is that the name Saint West isn’t even original. Pete Wentz named his son Saint Laszlo Wentz last year. So Kanye basically copied a member of Fall Out Boy.
Believe it or not, but naming one of their own Saint West isn’t the most ridiculous thing the Kartrashians have done today. That achievement goes to St. West’s pimp lovey who made crucifixes turn upside down and genitals shrivel up and die with this dark-sided video of her swimming in a pool of Caitlyn Jenner and Lamar Odom’s tears for Love Magazine’s advent calendar. This is the real war on Christmas.